Just because I’m a mom doesn’t mean my job is more important than yours

I am the mother of a little kid. Needless to say, it's a very demanding job (yes, being a mother counts as work). She depends on me for everything, her well-being and emotional integrity are my responsibility. Raising human beings, educating them, keeping them alive, is a non-stop job, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and that will last at least 18 years (of course, as they grows it becomes easier, but their demands and needs sometimes become more complex). When we don't do our job well, the consequences impact our entire community (think of all the people who suffer from childhood traumas from a single individual). This does not mean that my work is more important than that of women who decide not to have children.

A while back I was chatting with a friend via text (she doesn't have kids) and she often apologized for “interrupting” me saying “she knows I'm surely very busy”. Ok, yes, but so does she, she has a full-time job and house chores, bills to pay, shopping, pets, personal care, family, friends, hobbies, exercise regimen... she's also very busy.

Sometimes I feel that women who decided not to have children or not to get married are considered "people with a lot of free time" or who do not have such serious responsibilities or a life as demanding as those who decide to be mothers. And sometimes I think that I am the one with a lot of free time, since I don't have a full-time job and I often take days off to recharge my batteries or go to children's birthday parties.

We are all valuable and active members of our community. Women who work full time generate an income and, actively participate in a chain of exchange on which the livelihood of many people depends on, including children and the elderly. A full time working career oriented woman will also generate intangible value for society, breaking schemes, changing rules, becoming the norm for generations that, until recently, grew up seeing their mothers be housewives and nothing more. Each project, each hobby that we undertake equally generates value in the lives of other people. So no, women who decide not to be mothers and who apparently have more free time in their schedule for their personal projects are no less busy with important tasks than those who decided to have children.

I am not at all against housewives and mothers, these are extremely important roles that generate value in the lives of their families and, therefore, to their communities and future generations. What I disagree with is that women are judged by the same measures, with the "ideal of the perfect mother, the good wife, the sweet housewife" (by the way, I am also a housewife but I try to be practical and efficient about it. Rarely will you see me cooking and baking elaborate recipes on a weekend because I enjoy it or it relaxes me (nothing stresses me more than a dirty kitchen)).

Being a mother is a very important role but also that of career oriented women. Each role we play is vital to our society, to our world, and no, none is more important than the other. Although motherhood can be very demanding, it is no more so than running a successful business or a highly demanding teaching job. Each of these activities touch lives, enrich them, and carry with them a great workload. And each one of them has the capacity to make us feel fulfilled and happy, but that depends on each person, what makes some women happy does not make others, and that's fine. The fact that not everyone wants to follow the same path is essential to our world, but it's even greater when we support and root for each other even when our lives are so different which, ultimately, is the path to happier and more evolved societies.

A mom, sitting on the floor, watches her child as she plays