New Year’s resolutions?

Yearly tradition: make resolutions for the new year that begins. But how many of them do we really meet? Are we being realistic?

I'm not very fond of making resolutions every year or, at least, sometimes I feel that every year I do the same: exercise more, eat healthier, be healthier... which I don't always pay much attention to (to be honest, I think that most people are trying to be healthier then, does it really count as a purpose?).

My resolutions or, rather, goals, I consider them as the year progresses or as I go through some event that marks me and makes me reconsider, no matter what time of year it is. Maybe I discovered a course of something that I wanted to learn and it is the best time to take it, or I had a difficult time that made me realize that I had neglected an area of my life that needs attention... for me it does not matter the time of the year or the aspect of my life it is concerned, it is always a good time to set a goal and try to achieve it (I have realized that the best way to achieve my goals is to divide them into small tasks that gradually bring me closer to it, for example, if you wsnt to run a 10 km race, you train every day and, little by little, you will be able to run more distance until you manage to run the full race).

This year my new goals coincide with the end of the year and a difficult but brief stage that I have been going through these last few weeks. I have been sleeping badly for several weeks because my little girl has been waking up at night frequently or wakes up very early, 4:30-5 am, she is going through a "growth spurt". I know she doesn't do it on purpose but this situation has made me think a lot about myself. Sleep is my Achilles heel, I need to sleep well to work, if I don't I feel exhausted and cranky. I have been meditating a lot about who I am now, sometimes it seems that the old version of myself is getting further and further away and I find myself alone with this new version which very often loses patience, is tired, irritable, struggles to get to appointments on time and sometimes fails to meet work deadlines. Suddenly I found myself thinking, is this the new me now? I, who used to be obsessively punctual, a great sleeper, active and dynamic, where is she now? The old version of me could more or less control her environment, now, with the arrival of my baby, there are fewer things that I control. This is perhaps my first "resolution", to be more understanding with myself. Yes, it is a difficult stage; yes, this new version of me is not the one I like the most; yes, this stage will pass and I will get closer to that other version that I miss so much. For now there is not much more I can do, just try to relax and remember that nothing lasts forever.

This has also led me to think, am I being over-demanding with myself? Am I pushing myself too much? I know that you can't be perfect in everything, especially in motherhood, because there are so many things that we can't control, but even so, sometimes, I feel that I'm trying to reach that perfection, whatever it looks like, which is not real or attainable. This would be my second "resolution", to stop demanding perfection and trying to relax more, after all, I think I have achieved a lot in recent years, I have done a good job.

My third resolution, to let go of the old version of me (I have to accept it, she will never come back) and better create a new one that I like more, which, in addition, is a mom.

These are my three wishes for me this year: understanding, acceptance and vision. Nothing further from "eating more vegetables" but, I think, much more necessary and, perhaps, much more attainable. I think they are good resolutions, in the end they are all summarized in love for the most important person in my life who, without a doubt, is me.

Happy New Year! And that all your wishes and goals are fulfilled ;)