Short stories of love and loss

My family, some of us in front of the camera, some behind it.

First story

It was May, I was at the mall to watch a movie with my girlfriends. We had plenty of time as it was time for the show. We entered Fabricas de Francia - a Mexican chain of department stores- I wasn't looking for anything specific but to kill time. When by chance I saw you. Molto bravo e bello! I felt so much tenderness and joy when I saw you that I decided to approach you. Other people were coming and going around, but you saw me. I didn't know how but I knew you would be in my life. You never needed words, with those beautiful eyes you could say everything.

I made up my mind to come back for you. Living at my parents' house, with a limited income and the condition that you would not cause trouble and mess, I went that May 15th to look for you. I arrived just in time, a few minutes more than it would have taken me to park and our story would have gone up in smoke, at the hands of a young mother with her two children who had also had their eye on you and went looking for you that day.

At first, you had your reservations, even though the connection was immediate it seemed that you didn't want to trust me the first time. Maybe my family thought you wouldn't last, and how wrong they were! In a short time, you won them all over, especially those who resisted you the most, and you adopted us. For years you took care of us, accompanied us, comforted us, and motivated us to exercise, laugh and play like children. Your presence was so elegant and expressive, but with a strong character that gave people watching something to talk about.

You came into my life at its best moment, I was so happy and you were there with me, with the four of us being part and the reason for that happiness, you became part of the most valuable thing I have, my family!

Suddenly the clouds in the sky were moving so fast as if they were being chased, and corvids began to visit us, bringing bad news. That beautiful life that my parents and their parents before them had worked so hard for, was threatened. When others turned their backs on us, out of fear, caution, or skepticism, you remained by our side. In a way you became that glue that held us together, that gave us hope by reminding us of the good times. That's just how you will always be in my mind, as that icon of stability, of unconditional love, of what a family means to me.

You traveled with us, you moved with us to the true north, and years later you accompanied me in my first marriage. Also through countless other occasions between those two points in history. Birthdays, weddings, anniversaries, vacations, family reunions, dinners with friends, my bumpy divorce, and my return to school. You didn't miss a thing!

Nor did you miss those days when I was no longer that cheerful person you met one day in May. Those days felt like a penumbra of failure, broken promises, and loneliness.

I never said it out loud but when joy made its way into my every day, I was afraid of hurting my family including you, with another chapter of change, uncertainty, and the possibility of heartbreak.

I hope I didn't fail you my piccolo Cesare, if I didn't bring you with me physically, I did however in spirit. I would think that those two years accelerated your aging, or maybe it was the years of anguish before when sadness clouded my judgment. Following your example, we were there for you in your joys and also through your health difficulties, and I am so thankful that I always took the chance to show you and tell you how important you are to me.

Thank you for 17 years of unconditional love, thank you for your great company, for your eyes full of light, and for being one of the best people I have ever known, even though you were a Chihuahua. You are and will always be a raggio di sole ♡ ♡ ♡ . Big hugs to anyone reading this that has lost their (furry) best friend.

"Ma sei come un raggio di Sole che irradia tutto anche gli sbagli miei. E vedrai che nel domani scoprirai che se il cielo è blu, è perché ci sei tu!"

Lyrics from song Raggio di Sole by Le vibrazioni.

Second story

My mom was a fitness trainer for many years and had her own gym. Thanks to her, and my dad's enthusiasm for picnics and hiking, I had a taste for exercise and walking in nature from an early age. I never "needed" to pay for any workout except yoga. It wasn't until late in my adult and married life that I joined a gym for the first time.

Ironies of life, the Derp husband chose what would be our gym for the next few years, an international chain known for being available at any time of the day, 365 days a year.

Ironies of life, the Derp husband chose what would be our gym for the next few years, an international chain known for being available at any time of the day, 365 days a year- AnytimeFitness. He, who more than once commented on how funny coincidences are, and who found in Ricardo Arjona's song Historia de Taxi an aspirational example of how unpredictable life is [check the cultural reference at the end of the page for context ↓], and how love can be found even after marriage (okay he didn't use those last words, but that's how it sounded to me). He, to whom I once casually said: hug me while you can, 'cause I won't be here forever. Not as a threat, but as a fact.

Sometime after our imminent separation and divorce, I who always found super cringe the people who go to the gym and start talking instead of exercising, or worse, flirting, found myself in the strange situation of coinciding with a range of characters that could well star in a comedy.

There was the "ladies' man" who casually used his strategy and good looks to start a conversation with the girl or girls he liked. Also the "who the f... asked you" a guy who somehow always sought to start a conversation by providing unsolicited training tips, and sharing strange anecdotes that sought to promote his nowhere to be found mojo. There were also the "I am here to work out people" among whom I found refuge, and preserved my anonymity while I counted workout repetitions in my head with such concentration that all my problems seemed to vanish.

At some point, I met the "nice German" with whom I exchanged curious facts, as well as short and funny anecdotes. He became the "too-young-to-be-dating-me-German", after revealing his age to me and being rather noticeably shocked by mine, in his second attempt to ask me out. And then there was "the BMW ex-pat wife" whose friendship did extend outside the gym.

Little did I know that these two characters were paving the way for the next character in the story..... "the Viking." An interesting character who spoke to no one, fueling speculation as to where he came from. His tough image contrasted with his warm smile. He, who turned to look at me when he thought I didn't notice, smiled at me from afar but turned to look at the floor when I looked back at him.

I very nonchalantly, for the first time in years, or in life perhaps, expected absolutely nothing from him. I figured the smile wouldn't lead any further. Later, when we started dating, I assumed that we would not go beyond that point and that only the anecdote would remain afterward.

So without a shred of expectation, our story was consolidated, thanks to a bunch of coincidences that occurred with impressive precision and perfect timing, beyond German efficiency or Mexican spontaneity, So unexpectedly, and so far from the forced rhymes of Arjona, but yet so close to his irony, I met you in that #AnytimeFitness. And without wishing for it, we manifested what the Derp of the ex somehow expected for himself, an unexpected love story.

Woopsie!

Third story

"Penses-tu à moi comme je pense à toi? Penses-tu à ça, aussi souvent que moi? Penses-tu que c'est la bonne cette fois?Penses-tu pouvoir me faire oublier la conne d'avant toi? Suis-je bien fait pour toi? Dans 2000 matins est-ce que ma tête te reviendra?"

Lyrics from Il y'a une question by Cali.

Cliché alert... they say that soul mates are not always a couple, sometimes they are friends, relatives... or even nothing I would say.

It is true that affinity, empathy, and that strange connection, or je ne sais pas attributed to soul mates, are not at all undeniable. Anyone who has been blessed with a strong friendship, one of those where you tell your truths without being unloved or ghosted, will understand that the literary references and much-trodden illusion of having a soul mate, go beyond that sense of acceptance. It is the comforting feeling that you can be yourself, and be loved at the same time, it is that idea of belonging. With your flaws, with your shortcomings, with all your areas of opportunity, but with all your strengths too.

This is one short story and many at the same time. It is a statue erected in honor of a concept, like beauty, that everyone sees and interprets in their own way despite persistent social attempts to homogenize it. It is a song that you listen to and transports you to a specific moment. It is the complicity behind an anecdote that makes you laugh until your stomach hurts. But it is also, in a way, the questioning turned into a stone you throw, like when Cali in Il y'a une question song wonders if the other person also thinks about him.

Thanks to my sweeties that even though we don't talk every day, when I spend time with you my soul is reset. To my cabroncitas, thank you for being there, your hugs, encouragement, words of encouragement, and admiration are worth gold, you are the little sisters I always wanted and that I don't have biologically.

Dave Grohl said that in his youth he had a great friend, Johnny, who unfortunately he lost track of. He came up with the idea of titling one of the songs on what would become the album "The color and the shape" (my favorite #FooFighters album by the way) with his friend's name, hoping that he would listen to it and show up again.

To those who remain more of a memory than a presence, who I love and admire in the same way as when we saw each other daily, this story is my "Hey, Johnny Park!" nudge to you.

To all of those that lost contact with a great friend, for non-toxic reasons or mistrust. If you really miss them, let them know. Chances are they also miss you or that they even need your friendship. Adult life is complicated let's remember that.

For those lucky ones who read this knowing that they have in their life who knows them whole, and that would never be a reason to love them less, but on the contrary in those same "defects" they find union, you motivate each other to be better, and remind you that you are complete and do not need more... and that they may or may not also be the object of their love interest... guess what... you have found your soul mate. If your hopes are for partnership love, hopefully they feel that way too, and with much more l̶u̶c̶k̶ initiative and determination, you will one day tell them.

Thank you life for these and many other stories.

xo

LuceBuona

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Cultural context

Historia de Taxi by Ricardo Arjona is a song about a bored taxi driver who on a slow day decides to flirt with one of his passengers. A pretty lady from the upper class fed up with her husband's cheating habits. In one of their outings together both Arjona and the pretty lady unexpectedly run into her husband. Arjona is known for over-rhyming in his songs and for abusing the use of comparisons. [Back to the story ↑ ]